Uneventful

I'm still here. Life has just been uneventful.

I'm not sure if the world of blog readers cares to hear about the monotonous things I do from day to day, especially when they don't really involve anything pertaining to the mission statement of this blog. I could reference back to my blog post entitled, Things I Haven't Done and kinda do a repeat of that. I just haven't done much of anything lately to note.

Running: The last time I have run was at The Anything Is Possible 5K. That was 2 weeks ago. My body is going to SERIOUSLY hate me when I get back to it and I'm going to feel like a total novice again. Actually, speaking of novice, I was considering going back and trying out Hal Higdon's 5K training again. You know, actually do it and do it well. I'd really like to work on endurance. I know that most people want to work on speed after they have run as many races as I have, but I really just want to be able to run non-stop, without walking at all throughout the duration of a 5K. I think I may have to settle for treadmill runs until I get a grasp on the work and school schedules going on in this house!

Weight Loss: I have, yet again, stopped counting my calories. I will say that I have not been putting quite as much trash in my mouth, but that's not saying much. I really think that my weight loss was going better before I decided to become a "runner." I wouldn't take it back. I have really enjoyed the races and the fun that comes with them (except for the half). I am going to get it together, though.

Zumba: I really miss doing Zumba. It goes right up there with a lack of motivation and a serious case of the lazies. It's not like I have to go anywhere other than my own living room to do it. I have the DVD!!!

Plantar Faciitis: My foot still hurts. It hurts a lot. I can reference back to the blog post, Excuses and go on another pity fest. Psychologically, I think that my foot hurting has held me back from doing a lot of the things I am not doing. I'm afraid that I will hurt it more or that it will hurt forever. On the days that I tape it up, it feels worlds better, but after a few days, the constant taping starts to irritate the bottom of my foot and it gets sensitive and itchy. I know, I know...more excuses!!

Reading: I am in a reading funk. I finished up, Arch Enemy by Frank Beddor and just haven't picked anything else up. There are a couple of books out that I have really been anticipating and a few series I have been wanting to start, but I just haven't.

I think it all boils down to some serious "me" time. I have been diligently trying to juggle too many things. The dieting, the running, the work and school schedules, the reading and keeping the house clean, even the blogging. I think I may have tackled too much (I will NEVER admit it again) and I just had a huge burn-out. I think what I really need to do is slow things down a bit and take them on again slowly and gradually. I am too stubborn to give up, so please bear with me. I know that there will be days again when I don't blog, but I am still here and I don't have any plans on going anywhere.

P.S. Thanks for listening to what seems like my never-ending pity party and endless excuses! 

Excuses

Hi. My name is Brandy and I have a food addiction problem. That should be the first step to recovery, right? Well, I've known for a long, long time that I have this problem and it hasn't really helped me recover yet or even made me feel like I was a step closer to dealing with it. I. Love. Food. I can't help it. I love the way it tastes and I love that it comforts me when I am anxious, stressed and sad. A little over a year ago is when I fell off the wagon of my best attempt yet at weight loss. The pounds were dropping and I felt and looked a LOT better. What happened?? Well, a lot of things.

But they are all excuses.

I chose to stop logging my calories because I knew I was going over the number and I was ashamed to face it. I chose to run a half marathon and then stop rigorously training for it halfway in, which I could attribute to Shane's changed work schedule (even though it's better for us in the long run). I chose to continue to eat all of those "running calories" that I was burning. I was under a lot of stress and I succumbed to my fall back addiction to food. The why's are all unimportant because they are all excuses. I did this to my self. I sabotaged my weight loss.

Now, I am sabotaging my fitness level. Yes, I am running all of these races, but I don't think I have to point out that my times are getting slower and slower. Why? Again, excuses, but here they are: I ran a half marathon with no water for the last 6 miles. Was that my fault? No. However, if I had continued my training and conditioning schedule, I could have run it at a faster pace and maybe gotten to the water stations before they ran out of water. I also really hurt my foot at the half. I have recently learned that I managed to develop plantar faciitis. Now that I (finally) know what it is, I have been icing and taping my foot pretty much non-stop. It's slowly getting better, but it has affected my walking AND running (and pretty much everything that involves standing on my feet). It also doesn't help that I stand on my feet at work all day, sometimes for 12 hours.

I'm not sure how I got to this point and I'm having a hard time pulling out of it. I haven't gained a lot of the weight back, but I have lost ALL of the muscle tone that I had developed. The worse it gets, the more I just want to quit and the thought of quitting makes me go for the only thing that makes me feel better...eating.

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